Everything I Ever Wanted to Know I Learned On Vacation

1. Be prepared for anything. Because anything will happen. Like your son announcing a loose tooth [the first one, mind you] at breakfast that was out of his mouth by lunch.


2. Always do the opposite of what you actually want. This year I threw caution to the wind and decided I could care less about getting a tan. The result? Best. Tan. Ever. Not that I care of course, except that I'm totally going to cry when its gone.

3. Fudpuckers is never a good idea [with 5 kids in tow]. I don't care if they do have alligators. It's not even a good name.

4. If your kids don't like to go underwater, by all means, buy them some superhero goggles. Apparently, the idea of being able to actually see what you are swimming into makes a huge difference.



5. Don't paint your house, then leave on vacation. Because the mess you left + the mess you bring home with you = gross. Paint chips AND sand? Dustbuster don't fail me now.

6. When you're 4, the ocean gets old. Quickly. Well, at least it does if you're my kids.


7. Keep your bangs trimmed. Or they'll get in your face while your kids are looking cute.


8. Don't put Crocs [or their imitators] in the dryer.


9. Remember when your parents told you to stay away from [electrical] outlets? Well that same rule should also apply to outlet malls. Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean your budget is too.

10. It takes hours to catch a fish using just a net while standing in the surf. Hours, I tell you.

And then, when you're definitely not looking. Some little minnow will just 'show up'.


11. Forget the tantrums, remember the good stuff, and always, always, do your best to just sit back and enjoy it. And while you're at it, lay off that shutter button on the camera, because it takes a while to upload all 417 of those pictures...