Friday, June 30, 2006


i'm downstairs.

my kids are usptairs, 'napping' trading this phrase back and forth:

"booty, booty, booty, look at my booty"


all my hard work training them to use 'bunditos" when discussing their bottoms has just vanished, like poop down the toilet.

Friday, June 16, 2006

the magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away.......


my children figured its time to ditch the cribs. i found cash standing on the book case getting all the "breakables (as they say, did i really use that word that much that they picked it up? god, i'm such a grandma.)" off the top and handing them down to hayden. a little tikes choo-choo mountain was propped against the drawers for use as a step, i assume. never mind that everything from the drawers, closet, or any storage spot in the room, was now carpeting the floor. i mean, is their room even carpeted? i can't remember, its been a week since i actually SAW the floor. and just so you know, it hurts like hell when you step on little plastic cows.

so standing there at the door, trying to decide whether to go get the camera or get cash down before he hurts himself, i thought - we really need a vacation, so thats where we'll be all this week starting tomorrow. laying on the beach in destin, probably eating sand, peeing in the pool, figthing over pool toys with 100 people asking 'are they twins? ", reminding me i have my hands full (duh i know, people) or calling them girls (hello we are wearing swim trunks, not bikinis you tards).....i will miss all of you dearly, and while i'm completely bummed about missing Apollo Up's cd release party and pre-party at the freys, i can't pass up a free trip to the beach.....

(by the way Apollo Up's Chariots of Fire is beyond awesome and rocking out to it live is where you should be on saturday, because thats where i'd be if i wasn't going to be living it up with britney spears and sean preston federline on the emerald coast)

so i'll call you when i get back because i'm sick of being out of town and we really need to hang out.

love, me

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

your toilet certainly has an even complexion

i just found my dear, sweet, loving children rubbing my beloved (and a bit expensive) tarte foundation (purchased thoughtfully from sephora by one awesome husband) all over the --place favorite expletive here-- toilet.

this comes a day after they helped me wash my car only to wipe chunks mud all over it afterwards.

no words can describe my pride as a mother.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


how do i even begin to tell you how unbelievable my valentines day was?

tuesday, february 14th, 2006 will forever go down as one of the greatest days in the history of the hartleys.

my first gift. monster ballads platinum edition. imagine the karaoke nights to come at the hartley household: fly to the angels, don't know what you got til its gone, when the children cry, i remember you......and of course, love song!

my second gift. aaron photographed in a groupie-girl embrace with john corbett (see profile pics cause i'm not smart enough to know how to post it here). what an awesome picture, what an awesome husband. after i recieved this i didn't think the night could of gotten any better.

and then we went to bon jovi. aaron, me, and mark and brandi. started out weird. missed the first song, then had to climb over 20 people to get to our seats b/c some weird platform was at the end of our row, right next to aaron and i's seats. but after bad medicene and born to be my baby, and a cover of "i won't back down" (dedicated to richie) there was no room for complaining from this girl.

then the security people start to show up in our section. people are getting relocated, mark gets in trouble for putting his beer on the platform, people all around us are getting pissy. its annoying becasue its starting to take away from all the rock going on on stage.but then a microphone stand shows up and the roadie guy says to aaron, who's right in front of the platform, 'jon's coming up here, don't lean in!" well, at this point we are for lack of a better term, completely shitting our pants. jon is going to be right in front of us. sweating on us, singing to us, completely rocking our asses off. so it can't get any better right?

wrong....jon runs up the aisle. acoustic guitar in hand. jumps on the platform. i'm freaking out, aarons freaking out, i can't breathe, and i think i'm about to start crying. and then there it is. he's playing BLAZE OF GLORY, people, BLAZE OF GLORY. for anyone who has ever been to our house and had a drink or two and stuck around long enough for a dance party, you know what this means to us. aaron is singing and pointing every word right back to him (they had to ask him to put his arms down) and i even think i catch jon chuckle at awesome. at this moment i am so in love with jon ( i think i even yelled it a few times), but more so, so in love with aaron for this experience.

so it still couldn't get any better right? wrong . he stays on the platform, sings my funny valentine, and then right into bed of roses. he is singing right to us. i'm still in awe. jon bon jovi is right in front of me. and oh my god his pants are super tight. and he has filas on. what the hell? the girl next to me is bawling. mascara everywhere, and she just keeps screaming "23 years jon! 23 years!" the ladies are everywhere and everybody's got a hand up for jon. and i think, its gonna look lame, but i put my hand up anyway. it hangs there in limbo for a bit and then jon starts reaching out - there must be 20 other hands up there (including aarons) and he reaches in and goes right for my hand. right for MY HAND. and he just doesn' like swipe it. he grabs it and we completely interlock fingers. do you even understand? jon bon jovi is holding on to my hand (and aaron's holding on to his thumb) and singing to me like i'm the only person in there. i could have died happy, right then in there (except first i would have had to tell everybody about it). this is the one of most amazing nights of my life. right up there with having my kids and marrying my husband.

eventually jon goes back down the aisle, and the concert goes on. i don't remember this much as i'm still screaming "oh my god" to aaron and crying "he touched us" to brandi. and oh yeah. i'm really crying. i mean, wouldn't you have cried to? all this excitement makes me really have to pee and on they way to the bathroom brandi and i proclaim to every person that walks by that i just touched jon bon jovi. the rest of the show is awesome, with living on a prayer (our song), i'll be there for you (i'm crying again) and a double encore that ends in Wanted, Dead or Alive (perfect. absolutely perfect)

the rest of the night is a giddy, hyper, blur some girls even get their pictures taken with brandi and i after we tell them jon touched us.

we go to tootsies and hang out with the mary & justin and people are coming up to us at the bar yelling "i saw you with jon!" its ridiculous in there. there is toilet paper stuck in my pants and i couldn't have asked for a better time, for a better life, friends, or most importantly husband. to think if i had never met mr. hartley, what a bore i would be. i love you, aph!

i am so content right now. and still a little, well.......