Friday, October 31, 2008

F.A.V. Happy Halloween!


Happy All Hallows Eve to you, my little pretties.

Today's choice was a tough one. I couldn't just ignore the holiday after all. I wanted something festive, and a little bit freaky.

I thought, quite dreadfully, hmmm, who should I pick? Maybe Rob Zombie? But I don't even like Rob Zombie.

Or what about NIN? Nope. Too serious.

Maybe Thriller? Nah, too obvious.

Finally, after many horrifically terrifying moments of indecision, I finally made a choice. So here goes...

I harrowingly dedicate it to my frighteningly adorable husband and his undying love for bad horror movies. And the Pixies.

But beware!!! If you don't like splattering blood, exploding eyeballs or Linda Blair, you probably shouldn't watch this. Especially if you just ate.

Horror Movie Montage set to "Dead" by The Pixies

Share with me your ghastly [or not so ghastly....] pick for today!!!

If you don't do it for yourself...please. Do it for the children...

[Don't ask. I don't know...]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Sitting with Scissors

I was going to write a thrilling entry today about my budget Halloween. Which probably isn't so much based on budget as it is on mooching, oops! I mean, on the genuine generosity of others...

But then yesterday happened. It was an exciting and busy day, with votes to be cast, pumpkins to be carved and homework to be finished. It was a day with a story, and that story must be shared.

The boys and I were seated around our kitchen table hard at work on this week's cut & sort worksheet. After a few minutes of gleeful participation, things had started to go a little sour. I could see the grand tradition of procrastination [passed on through many generations] starting to rear its ugly head. Glue was being thrown, scissors were being launched, and my children were quickly disappearing under the table,

Just when I was about to give up, things had gone eerily silent.

As a mom, you can pretend all you want that silence is a good thing, but when you live with two five-year olds, you know better; the sound of silence might as well be a siren of destruction.

And that's when I heard it....

"Mommmmmmy?" A two syllable word stretched into six? Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

"Um, I accidentally cut my hair." Ah, yes, a statement that will go down in history, forever destined to be repeated and bronzed in a baby book. 'I accidentally cut my hair.'

I took a minute to inhale, then exhale, inhale again and then let out one big sigh. I counted to ten or twenty, maybe even thirty, and I stared at the table for a minute, not sure I really wanted to look up.

If you know me at all, or if you've been reading my ramblings for a while, you know my biggest fear [besides martians] is the fear of a buzz-cut. The last thing I wanted to do was to look up and make eye contact with a snafu so horrid that it could only remedied with clippers.

Eventually, I summoned up enough courage to direct my eyes upward. I first saw the pile of hair on the kitchen table which Hayden was already starting to throw away. Kind of big, yes, but under the realm of positive thinking, could have been worse. So I bit the bullet and prepared to face Cash, the culprit, face to face.

This is what I saw:

Just see if you can spot the missing chunk.

I could tell the boys were nervously waiting for my response, probably expecting a blow-up, but the look on Cash's face was so classic, his eyes looking up, trying to focus on that spot where hair once was, that the only thing I could do was laugh.

Cash started to giggle too, in high-pitched relief, and Hayden followed suit. I manage to eek out one or two 'You need to be more careful' scoldings but what was the use? It was a moment so humorously endearing it was devoid of all punishment or discipline.

It really wasn't that bad, anyway. My painstaking devotion to their hairstyle had finally paid off, as the rest of his bangs are long enough that with the right part and maybe the right product you can barely tell that something is missing.

Truthfully, I have to admit I'm a little bit surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

After all, a good day in our house is one when we manage to make it to the end of the day with the house leaning, but standing and most everyone's appendages still intact.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Ground Control

Fed up with the lack of dusting going on around the house, the SpaceMan takes things in to his own hands.

Friday, October 24, 2008

F.A.V. To Prepare or Not Prepare

Its Friday again already? I was so not prepared for this. Well sort of not. Ok, truthfully I decided on today's video last Saturday, so I can't lie anymore, I was completely prepared.

Maybe my problem is not that I'm unprepared, its that I'm pretending to be unprepared. Who does that? Me, I guess. I don't really know where I'm going with this.

But what I do know is that you better be prepared for today's video from Sia.

We should all take a hint from her and wear pantyhose more often.

Buttons Video

[if you liked that one, you should check out this performance too, Sia puts Kayne's glow to shame]

Now its your turn. Hurry!

Its raining and I'm bored.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Maybe My Grossest Blog Yet...

**you have been warned: this blog contains pictures of real live fake rodents and one real dead one**

You may have heard me mention before the surplus of artificial life forms we have laying around our house.

I'm talking fake spiders, rats, snakes, centipedes, name it, we probably having a plastic replica of it.

More often than not one of these little dummies has scared the poo out of me when I wasn't expecting it.

Like our mouse friend here, who startled me while I was on a lego-excavating mission in the playroom:

Or this spider who I was sure was on the attack:

Or how about this terrifying piglet who jumped out at me while I was on dustbuster duty:

And with it being Halloween and all, the likelihood of these happenings has greatly increased, what with all the extra spiders and mice showing up for the celebration:

So yesterday, while I was taking out the trash, I wasn't surprised at all to find another little rodent friend hanging out on the driveway. I figured he'd been joy-riding with the boys on their big wheels the afternoon before and must have gotten left behind when it was time to go inside.

Then I leaned over to pick him up, and that's when I began to second-guess my better judgement.

It was a mole.

And, um, he wasn't Made in China.

You just can't get more festive than that.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dearest Husband...

While you were busy shutting down the city last night in the Big Apple, I was busy trying to avoid going to bed alone.

I watched Leno make fun of McCain, Letterman discuss the economy with Bill Clinton, and Craig Ferguson whisper about a hot girl in a shiny dress.

I was dreading that moment when I have to trudge up the stairs, turn off all the lights, and be serenaded to sleep by that unnerving combination of total silence and the annoying hum of the boy's 'fishy' light.

I dislike this moment partly because I miss you, and want to be sure you are safe where ever you are, and partly because I'm almost positive that surely this has to be the time, while I'm here alone in a quiet house, that green people from another planet will appear to whisk me away on a not-so-fun excursion into the outer limits [thanks to that chip they implanted in my nose 15 years ago in Colorado. STACY.].

But after a few conversations with you by the romantic light of text, and after firmly affixing my aluminum foil hat upon my head, I finally managed to settle in for a good night's sleep.

I tried to enjoy the fact that I could sprawl out across the entire bed without any complaints from anybody about my freezing 'are you sure you took your shoes off?' feet touching theirs.

I rolled around a bit, trying to find that perfect spot for slumber. Just when I was about to give up I stumbled upon one of the most heavenly sleep spots I'd ever encountered. It was as if I'd instantly been carried away on the backs of fleecy little sheep and plopped right down onto a cloud of the fluffiest cotton.

It was your side of the bed.

I couldn't believe you'd been keeping this from me. You'd been hoarding this little slice of heaven all this time and I didn't even know? No wonder you dosed off every time I started into another bedtime discussion on whether I should teach the boys how to tie their shoes, or maybe just invest in a lifetime supply of Vans.

To think, all this time I just thought you were tuning me out. I'm crazy, I know it. And I took all your snoring and sleep talking as a sign of agreement on this fact.

Little did I know your were being lured luxuriously into a blissful sleep by the siren song of the tranquility that is your side of the bed.

I did my best to stay up, trying to sleepily piece together a tirade on this injustice of this situation.

Alas, it was too late, I'd flirted with the fluff, and now the sandman was here. I tried to fight it, but it was no use, I was already drooling.

All over your fluffy pillows.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Are You...

Feeling a little out of place today?

Yeah. So is she.

Friday, October 17, 2008

F.A.V. Indecision

I'm currently on my way to the pumpkin patch with 100 5 year olds, so afternoon is coming early today....

I usually decide early on in the week what video I want to post. And then I sit on it for a few days. Trying to craft a perfectly imperfect description or story for accompaniment.

I act like I'm all smart or deep about it, but this actually means that I over-think my choice quite a bit, and often subject my choices to some lame drawn out form of analyzing that I made up all by myself just to make things difficult. Because I like difficult. Difficult is good. No pain, no gain, my brethren.

That said, this time around was no different. I'd firmly set my sights on the following video. After receiving a random email earlier in the week I'd made up my mind up that we should just change our national anthem to this song:

Frankly, I think everyone should be required by the law to like The Talking Heads.

But then the mail-lady drove by one afternoon, late as usual, and dropped a long-awaited MGMT album on my doorstep, and well, this house has kind of [oh whatever, more like TOTALLY] been grooving ever since.

I can't post the original video I wanted, because THE MAN [or the band] just won't let me, but you MUST go check it out here, NOW. Whether you like it or not, its worth watching for the cameo made by the animal band from Showbiz Pizza somewhere around 1:33.

Instead I'm posting this version, because I'm in the audience in this one. Over there by that white tent on the left. You can't see me, but I'm fairly certain you can see a microscopic glint from my sunglasses when I turned to ask Aaron "What is this?" Yes, it's true. I really am cool like that. I never know what's really going on.

Lastly, I'm going completely overboard and posting MGMT covering Talking Heads. Now that's what I call FULL CIRCLE people.

Trifecta complete.

Alright. I'm done now.


You're it.

How much thought do you put into YOUR choice?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Terror by the Dinner Table

I like Halloween.

I like the bats and the fangs.

The black cats.

The skeletons.

And oh yeah, the costumes.

Pumpkins, you're ok too, but do you have to be so grody on the inside?

Yes, we're getting geared up in this house for All Hallow's Eve.

The decorations are up...

the costumes have been purchased [and the poses mastered]...

the treats are being discussed, and the pumpkin patch is being visited [tomorrow. with 100 other kids. and I'm chaperoning. talk about terrifying].

Oh how I love to get my kids all jazzed about Halloween. After all, you just can't knock a holiday where you get to wear a ridiculous outfit and be rewarded for it with sugar. Loads and loads of sugar.

However. I am starting to scare myself [appropriate I guess, considering the spirit of the season and all] because last night, I extended our celebration right into our diet.

No, we didn't eat candy corn ala mode or candy apple souffle. Worse.

We had this:

Mummies in a Blanket!!!!!

Horrific, isn't it? Next thing you know I'm going to start wearing embroidered jack o' lantern sweat sets and light-up ghost earrings.

I'm scared for myself I really am.

So if you see me in the next few weeks and I say something ridiculous like " Ghoul morning, my pretty!" or "You look BOOtiful, daahhhling!", please, do me a favor and put me out of my spooky misery, commit me to holiday rehab before I spend all my money on a over-sized, hand-woven cornucopia...

As soon as my cauldron fizzles out, I'll thank you for it.

Maybe [she types, while cackling uncomfortably....].

Yeah. I definitely need some help.

Monday, October 13, 2008


...are rough on Batman too.

Friday, October 10, 2008

F.A.V. The ROCK Test

My children have become increasingly particular about their 'Rock n' Roll' lately. Meaning, if a song doesn't match their current rock criteria, it's quickly dismissed from the Rock n' Roll category. Their standards are quite high, and frankly, a little bit sexist [as in nothing sung by a woman counts. Trust me, we're working on this one. Joan Jett anyone?].

Only a handful of bands have managed to make it on their Ultimate Rock List: Metallica [of course], AC/DC [no question], Rush [I still don't get this one], Nirvana [approved], and as of yesterday Foghat [can you say classic rock radio overload maybe?].

Which brings me to this little tale...

This past Monday we were visiting my family in Ohio. The boys have a ritual with my dad where they watch the rocket launch sequence from the Apollo 13 movie about a hundred times over before heading to bed. This time around, after watching the re-entry sequence in addition just for kicks, my dad decided to throw on a little Allman Brothers Band, too.

I don't know what kind of reaction he was going for, if any, and I didn't really think much about it. It certainly wasn't out of character or anything, my dad is a music man, music was always on when I was growing up, and still is, much to the chagrin of my mother.

And then it happened.

Hayden stood up, his southern-born blood not moved at all by the greatest southern rock band of all time, and confidently said " This is NOT rock n' roll. "

Houston, we have a problem! Did he really just dismiss one of the greatest guitar players of the 70's? My mom, my sisters and I fell on the floor laughing. My husband, who has never been an Allman Brothers fan, and who was not there, would have been so proud. My dad on the other hand was determined to change their minds.

He didn't lecture, or even try to explain. Instead he made them watch Billy Preston do a mind-blowing organ-solo on Eric Clapton's "Have You Ever Loved a Woman". Yes, that's right. He made two five-year olds sit through the slowest song-build-up ever recorded on DVD. Lucky for my dad, 2 instrument solos and a smattering of lyrics later, the song managed to just barely pass their rigorous rock test.

Mission accomplished.

It was a classic moment, to say the least, one for the baby books, no doubt.

So today's video goes out to my boys and to my dad. I think I managed to find one that they both would approve of...

And you? What's on your list this Friday?

Thursday, October 9, 2008


I'm still here!

Will return soon to regularly scheduled programming. Promise.

As soon as i figure out how to get out from underneath this rock.....

Friday, October 3, 2008

F.A.V. For The Squirrels

Today's video goes out to the squirrels, whose talents with the saxophone are often under-appreciated.

And to George of course, the greatest Beatle, oh and to my children too, because they love this video as much as I did when I was a kid.

[I also think it eloquently summarizes my feelings about this election, but that's all I'm gonna say about that business...]

What video do you have your mind set on this here lovely little Friday?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

As Political As I'm Gonna Get.

[NSFW! I mean, if your work doesn't like 4-letter words, or Sarah Silverman taking off her bra.]


My dear Cheerios,

I'm so over you.

I just can't take it anymore.

I loathe seeing you sitting around on the couch.

I abhor the way you manage to always adhere to the butt of all my pants.

I detest the sound of you hitting the floor and I despise the crunch of you under my feet.

I hate the way I think you're gone, and then there you are again, hanging out under the couch, behind the bookcase, in the bathroom, or driving a dump truck in the playroom.

You know what's coming. I'm kicking you out again. Banning you from breakfast.

The dust buster and I? We've had it. It's high time we took a break from your bran.


I try to act so tough, but you know in the end [or in a few weeks when we've had our fill of waffles] I'll always take you back. I just can't resist those honey nuts or those fruity tendencies [but the yogurt? gross] . Lucky for you I'm fickle, I tend to forget your irritating crunch under my feet and only remember your sweet aftertaste when faced with the prospect of getting a free race car in return.

O, my little o's, how I love to hate...

...and hate to love.