Bowl. Baby. BOWL.

My sisters were in town this past weekend, which meant dance parties, late nights, early mornings, a little free babysitting, and plenty of rotten spoiling.

We decided to throw all caution to the wind and let the boys dictate the weekends festivities.

They picked bowling.



Can I even begin to express my pride? I'm figuring their love for the pins started in-utero.

The one and only time I have ever kicked total booty in bowling [or in any sport for that matter] was when I was around 6 months pregnant with those two.

It was back in the early "Glory Days" when we lived off 8th Ave in Nashville and often frequented Melrose Lanes.

I was fierce, I tell you, hauling that heavy ball up there as well as my burgeoning belly [not to mention a burgeoning behind as well...].

It was almost as if all that extra weight gave me an awesomely grounding center of balance, and ta-da! I was coordinated for the first [and only] time in my life.

*Sigh* Those were the days, when slamming down a turkey was actually within my grasp on a regular basis, instead of just on Thanksgiving.

I've been hoping and praying since the day I found out I was having these two that they'd be blessed with at least just an ounce more of coordination than I'd ever had. I'm not asking for them to be captain of the team or anything, it would just be nice if they could catch a ball without having to cover their face first, like I once did. At a Major League baseball game.

After this weekend [and after many times of consistently being hit in the face by a ball or kicked in the shins by these dear children] I can almost conclude that my prayers were answered. Almost. Maybe. Sort of. Yes? No? See for yourself.

Cash:

A Time to Bowl from emily hartley on Vimeo.
[That girl on the left was the most uninterested bowler I've ever seen. She was always sitting down by the time her ball hit the pins. I think she scored a total of 14? And don't even get me started on her awesome flat-ironing skills]

Hayden [and Cash um, helps out]:

A Time to Bowl Part 2 from emily hartley on Vimeo.

Yup. My children obviously ooze coordination. Just standing next to them makes me look better, and I'm not really exaggerating,either. I even managed to beat Aaron at bowling that very same afternoon. This never happens. He wins everything. Even Candyland.

A Mineral Moment

Getting ready the other day, this showed up in my foundation:



Can you believe that smirk its giving me? Do you even see it? Please tell me you see it.

It might has well have screamed "Oh, girl! After this is over, I'm gonna spread out all over your bathroom counter, and then when you try to wipe me up, I'll just smear, and then it'll look like your sink has skidmarks. So awesome! Oh, I'm also gonna do my best to make one of your cheeks look six times darker than the other while simultaneous not covering any of your zits, and then, maybe later, around 4:00 or so? You'll notice I've been hanging out on your pants leg all dang day, making you look way lame. You hate me, I know, but you can't quit me. Don't forget to recycle."

Hmph.

I wanted to put "Maybe it's Maybelline, or maybe I'm crazy" right here, but lets face it. That's not even funny. Not even remotely. Totally off the map. Like in the Bermuda Triangle.

No wonder even my own makeup is mocking me.

One of these things is not like the other.

One of these things just doesn't belong.



Can you find it?

Is it the overbearing presence of vinyl?

Or maybe, Yoda, it is?

The graffiti covered baby Jesus?

My grandma would say the Three Kings. Because everybody knows they don't make it to the stable until January 6th [she still makes them travel though her entire dining room before they finally make it to the Nativity on the Epiphany].

But I think it's this guy:



The holy badger. I've had this Nativity scene since my preteen years and I still can't figure out what this guy is doing there.
I'm pretty sure they're weren't any badgers in Bethlehem.

I don't even know if he's really a badger. He could be a Christmas koala? Or maybe, a bear, lost in the desert after a wrong turn on the tundra?

Truth is, I kind of feel sorry for the little guy. Just look at the way he hangs his pokey little head in and shame. He's even getting the evil eye from the king on the far right. And that donkey? We all know full well he's being a total ass.

Poor thing. Maybe he's a black sheep...uh, literally.

What do you think?

F.A.V. Art of Destruction

The boys had art class earlier this week.

When they got in the car after school that afternoon, I asked about their day. We discussed all the important happenings like who pushed who, was it or wasn't it on purpose and why is everybody else so slow at putting the blocks away during block center, before the conversation settled on how Art went that day. [Art was my absolute favorite subject from the beginning of preschool to the end of college, so I admit, I do harbor a small-ish hope that at least one of my children might enjoy it too.]

"So what did you do in art class today, guys?" I asked, totally expecting them to trip over themselves with excitement.

Silence.

Cash was asleep.

Hayden was staring out the window.

Finally, after a minute or so he confidently declared. "I'll show you when we get home."

Ooo. Such suspense from such youth! Must be something good.

Once we got home and settled into our afternoon routine [which is basically me yelling about how could you possibly still be hungry, you just ate 3 go-gurts and a bowl of cherrios and two bananas, while they ignore me] we gathered on the couch to review our art projects.

They seemed proud of what they were about to show off, and I so enjoy listening to them explain their work, I was anxious to see what they had done.

Hayden was first.

"This is a building....



AND THE WHOLE THING'S ON FIRE."

He drew on the back too,

" This is a race track, and these are the cars....



there was an EXPLOSION here, and this one EXPLODED and that one EXPLODED, and oh yeah, EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE.

Hmmm. Interesting. Scorching, even.

Next it was Cash's turn.

"This is a van you watch Christmas lights from. Here's a guy wearing a hat, and here's me....



and my feet are A LITTLE BIT ON FIRE.

He also drew on the other side of his paper, a race track too,

"Here's Daddy, here's Hayden, that's me....



I'm A LITTLE BIT ON FIRE, oh and you, you're over there. "

Hmmm. Do you sense a theme? I'm not so sure if I do or not.

I mean, we never watch racing around here. What this obsession with race tracks? I don't get it.

Regardless, today's video is for my kids and they're budding talent as artists [of destruction...]:


[why doesn't anybody dance in their seat like that anymore? Everybody always has to get up these days to shake their booty....]


What about you? What's your video today?

Through A Childs Eyes

Children have a unique way of seeing things in a different light.

Here's my son Hayden, on Thanksgiving.


Superman, The Video. from emily hartley on Vimeo.

I think this video sums it all up for me. This is the way I want to remember this time in our lives, this is the way I want my life to be, and obviously my son has a bright future in videography.